I don't have to be special to have a natural birth. That's the beauty of it. It's normal. Or it should be. I don't have be extraordinary. Things don't have to be just right. Things can be rough around the edges. In fact, they will be. Ordinary women have been having natural births for thousands of years. Not SuperWoman. She doesn't exist.
When people say how "brave" I am, or how "strong" I am, it is easy to fall back into the cultural belief that not just anyone can do this. And that its risky in some way. It's not true, and that way of thinking is not helping me right now. Natural birth is normal. God designed my body to give birth, and I can do it.
I am thankful for doctors that will be there in case of an emergency or something abnormal. If the end result is a hospital birth, a c-section, or other less invasive interventions, I will be thankful. I will not feel like I've failed myself or that I'm a bad mom. There are exceptions to the Rule of Normal, and I will not beat myself up if this birth is an exception. But unless I see evidence of that, I am going to move forward with the belief that this birth will be normal. Normal! Do you hear me?!
I will not beat myself up if I lose my resolve and head to the hospital because in the moment I feel its too hard. I don't want to think about that one, but I need to let my future self know that its okay. So, Future Self: It's okay. You didn't fail. You did what you felt like you had to do in the moment, and it's okay.
Just a little bit of self-talk in response to my fears.
You're welcome for letting you listen in. Anytime.
HUGS.
ReplyDeleteKeeping you in my prayers, sweetheart!Just do whatever YOU feel is right. I hope Malachai puts his hand down where it's supposed to be so the birthing process will go easier, but if not, well, that's how it goes sometimes. And I know you'll find the strength within that is needed. When I had the problems with Jason's birth,and the doctor told me what was going on, I just didn't know where I was going to get the strength to do what the doctor told me, but somehow (through the Grace of God, I believe) I did find that strength and we made it through. And then once I saw that beautiful baby boy, I completely forgot about the ordeal I had been through just minutes earlier. Those precious babies are worth every bit of it! Hang in there dear and it will all be over before you know it and you'll be holding that precious little one in your arms!
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby is hard and it's right for moms to be proud of their birth stories, in any case.
ReplyDeleteBut the truly heroic thing . . . the brave thing . . . is the parenting. That's the really hard part.