At the moment, I am content to wait. I feel more relaxed about the whole thing, and I think its helping me sleep better. We are going to try and get an ultrasound tomorrow to see what sort of position Malachi is in. It will help us know if he's in some sort of mal-position, and if that is holding things up, or if its just not our time yet. I'm leaning toward it just not being quite the right time yet.
Once we get to a week past his estimated due date (June 4th), if he still isn't here, we may try some light induction such as castor oil to see if we can get things moving again. I hate to put him on a time table, but we have a family reunion that I really want us all to go to. It's in Michigan, and I know that the later he is born, the less likely it is we will all be ready to go on that long trip. If it doesn't end up happening, it's okay. But I am figuring that a 3 week recovery time for both of us is about the minimum we would need for it to be possible.
It's funny. I'm sure some of you think I'm crazy for even thinking that I could go. And others are thinking, yeah, three weeks is possible. I think it just depends on how Malachi is doing at the time, how I'm recovering, etc. We'll just have to see.
I have found myself getting more lethargic the last few days. I think its the restless nights in combination with just being so pregnant. Yesterday, I was tired of being cooped up in the house and so, at my request, we went out to run some errands. I thought that's what I wanted. But once we got out, I did not want to be on my feet at all. My back starts to hurt when I'm walking around or sitting up. And my feet hurt when I'm walking. I wanted to get back home and in the reclined position as quickly as possible. It's the only way I'm truly comfortable these days. I feel like I'm hibernating or something.
I feel very good about my decision to start my maternity leave. I'm sad that the countdown to going back to work has already started and we don't have our baby yet. But at the moment, it just seems right to me to be resting, nesting, and waiting for Malachi without the drain and distraction of work. I'm thankful that it's possible for me to be home right now. And also very thankful that Joshua, who is usually the "suck it up and deal with it" sort, has been so understanding. I think he sees that its a difference between what I am capable of doing, and what I should be doing for our little family.
One last note. We have started using reverse psychology on Malachi, knowing how kids will often do the opposite of what their parents want, just because. So we are telling him he can stay in there forever if wants. We are okay with it if he never comes out. If he's like most kids, he will probably do the opposite, right?