Joshua always tells me, when I am experiencing the highs and lows of life, that I should be blogging this. I don't take his advice nearly as often as I would like, probably because the highest and lowest times are the hardest to put in words. But tonight, I am taking his advice.
To call what I'm experiencing a low isn't really accurate. I'm actually very happy, would not describe myself as sad or depressed in any way. What I am experiencing is, in a word, just hard.
Malachi has colic. Until a few days ago it wasn't too bad. Every couple of days he would be clearly highly distressed for anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours. He was sleeping in three hour stretches through the night, and we were able to manage the colic using a swaddling blanket, swing etc. Then three days ago, it changed. Malachi began sleeping only 45 to 1.5 hour at a time with inconsolable crying in between. He still has some longer stretches here and there, but not usually uring the night. He wants to nurse almost constantly. He'll have a while here and there where he is happy as can be.
Needless to say, I haven't been getting much sleep at night. I have been surviving by sleeping more during the day, which means nothing is getting done. When Malachi is awake, it's taking some effort to keep him content, if its possible at all, so I usually can't get anything done then either.
I know we're not experiencing anything that unusual. That's a small comfort, but it doesn't help much when it is happening to us. It's just hard watching my child suffer, especially when my own fatigue just serves to heighten my emotions about the whole thing.
Amazingly, I'm handling all of this better than I thought I might. Somehow its easier to deal with hard things when I'm the one responsible. Malachi needs me to keep it together.
On a positive note, he is changing so much. He is almost too long for his smallest onesies. He is holding his head up so well. I just started doing tummy time with him on Tuesday, and he decided to roll over four times! He didn't like being on his tummy, so I guess he was motivated. Unfortunately, I didn't see any of them because I was cleaning the kitchen. I'm just taking Joshua's word for it.
He's also really interested in watching objects move the last few days. We've been putting him in his bassinet and turning his mobile on and he will listen to the music and watch the little owls go round an round for 10-20 minutes before he gets bored. He is also looking into my eyes alot when he nurses now, which is so sweet.
He's such a joy. He smiles all the time when he's feeling good. I am so looking forward to his colicky-ness being over, because I can see that he has a great temperament.
(P.S. The photo is from July 4th. We went to a party at our friends' the Hillery's. Joshua loves to put cute outfits and shoes on Malachi for special occasions, and this photo is an example of that.)