Sunday, April 18, 2010


Joshua says that I need to make a list of loves and hates about pregnancy so that I’ll remember what I'm getting into before getting pregnant again. So, here starts my list. I reserve the right to add to it at any time I recall a new love or hate.

There will probably be a lot more hates than loves, but some of the loves are way more rewarding than the hates are deterring.

Disclaimer: My mom taught me not use the word "hate". And I usually abide by that. But this is poetic license because it just doesn't sound right to say DISLIKE in opposition to LOVE. HATE is the opposite of LOVE. Also, the loves are way more rewarding the the hates. Love totally wins.


HATE: Swelling. Not being able to bend over or get out of bed without calling in reinforcements. Constipation, having to pee. a lot. Fatigue. Battling UTI’s. Being itchy. Sleeplessness. Waddling. Not being comfortable in any position other than lying in my bed for more than 20 minutes, except sometimes with a heating pad. Not being able to watch a movie all the way through because I am uncomfortable and/or can’t stay awake.
LOVE: Clear skin and thicker hair. Hmm. It seems in this category, there are a lot more cons than pros!

HATE: The baby punching and kicking me in by bladder, kidneys, and other vital organs.
LOVE: Feeling and seeing the baby move. Getting to see other people experience feeling and seeing the baby move.

HATE: Constant thirst and being so reliant on water to keep me feeling good. My body being unusually responsive to what I put into it. A longer list of foods that I enjoy less because because I know I'll regret eating it later, including: pizza, salsa, chocolate, sugar in general.
LOVE: Getting into a consistent water-drinking habit for the first time in my life. Being more conscious of nutrition.

HATE: Wearing the same outfits all the time. Feeling fat even though I know that fat and pregnant are NOT the same thing.
LOVE: People telling me how good I look. Hearing that makes me feel a lot better.

HATE: Crying over little things like swollen feet.
LOVE: The downward mood swings are USUALLY better than PMS.

HATE: Feeling like a wimp with no character because of how hard all of the above physical things can be hard for me to handle.
LOVE: Developing slightly more endurance and character because as pregnancy goes on, it takes me just that much longer to start whining, complaining, and feeling at the end of my emotional rope.

HATE: That sometimes it seems like all people see anymore is this belly. Answering the question “how are you feeling?” over and over and over again. Being honest when it's been rough and then feeling like a whiny complainer because I was honest.
LOVE: People’s concern for me—questions about how I am feeling, etc.

HATE: Unsolicited advice about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. Having to bite my tongue when people start soliloquizing about these subjects because evidently, my opinion doesn’t matter yet.
LOVE: Helpful advice about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting that includes the words “everyone is different”, “take it or leave it”, “you’ll figure out what works for you” or anything similar that doesn’t make me feel like my intentions are laughable.

HATE: People thinking I'm an invalid and can't life a 5 pound box.
LOVE: How helpful people are.

HATE: Hearing “oh that’ll change once the baby is born” when I talk about cloth diapering, breastfeeding, camping, having people over, etc., etc., etc. Really? Will it? Because I know plenty of people who manage to do what’s important to them as a family. Not that our lives won't be completely altered, but it won't be altered in the exact same way yours was. We are a different family.
LOVE: Hearing how this baby will change our lives forever in good and hard ways, and suggestions on how to make it work for us.

HATE: Realizing that there is give and take in parenting. That like everything in marriage, mine is not the only opinion that matters.
LOVE: The way my husband looks at me now that there are two of us to love. Seeing him morph into a parent.

HATE: When people think I look ready to pop. No offense to those people, but I'm not ready to pop at 28 weeks. Or 30 weeks. Or 34 weeks. But I feel ready to pop and you asking me just reminds me that I'm not going to anytime soon.
LOVE: The joy that it brings to strangers to see me pregnant. The conversations with random people who, just because they see a pregnant woman, want to share their joys of parenting and pregnancy. Children are just that awesome and bring joy and meaning to your life that you never imagined.

HATE: Thinking about how my moments of stress and tears might affect Malachi in the womb.
LOVE: Talking and singing to Malachi, and knowing that he hears me. Knowing that my heartbeat, my voice, and my body are his home. He is with me all the time, my little sidekick.

HATE: Worrying. Knowing that it will never really go away because it's part of being a parent.
LOVE: The baby you get at the end! Feeling an inexplicable love and connection with this person you’ve never even met. Dreaming about living life with my tiny baby, or little boy, or teenager. The love that people already have for our unborn child just because he’s ours.

HATE: Stretch marks. Knowing that my body will never be the same, and not in a good way.
LOVE: Even the stretch marks are like bittersweet trophies that symbolize the sacrifice and love of motherhood.

HATE: Back pain. Weird joint pain in my feet, hands and hips. Indigestion like I’ve never knew existed. All kind of aches and pains and general discomfort from carrying a watermelon around for months.
LOVE: Realizing that the physical pain I have so ardently avoided in life is the inevitable result of pregnancy, and that I would gladly go through a hundred times worse for the end result. Being glad for even the most horrid parts of pregnancy because they are a sweet reminder of my sacrifice, and the life-altering end result. Feeling like motherhood is already changing me for the better.

So, do I love being pregnant? I think the majority of the time, yes, but not all the time. It's all worth it though.

1 comment:

  1. I only made it half way through your list because I instantly had memories of being pregnant with Jack and people constantly telling me about "how hard it is" as if I were completely unaware because I didn't already have kids.

    Um, yeah, it's hard. Breastfeeding is hard. It's also wonderful. Cloth diapering is hard. It's also really beneficial in many ways. Parenting is hard. It's also the most amazing work I've ever done.

    That's all. :)