My Little Green Monster

More to come on this, but I am having to make some pretty drastic changes in my diet. I'm not sure of everything that will entail, but in general, it will involve being a lot stricter about eating only whole foods. I might go vegan. Not thrilled about that, but we will just have to see. Here is a picture of Malachi enjoying his green smoothie this morning. If he can do it, I can too!

A Good Memory

I was just reading a friend's birth story and was reminded of a sweet moment after Malachi's birth.

Malachi had just been born via c-section and I was really drugged. They took me to recovery before I held him or even looked at him up close, but I was so drugged that I wasn't upset by that at the the time.

The next thing I knew I woke up and Malachi was being placed in my arms. He hadn't eaten yet. I had been anticipating this first meeting for months. But things had gone differently than I had planned and I was so tired. I was a little worried that I wouldn't have the energy to hold him securely or that he wouldn't latch on properly because of the delay.

I held him skin to skin and we figured it out together. He nursed and I stared and marveled that this little person was finally here. Our bodies snuggled together and we figured it out. It was such a sacred moment. God designed such an intimate way for our babies to receive their nourishment. How amazing is it that they can eat and snuggle at the same time? It's really quite brilliant.

Why I Wake Early

I don't, actually. That's just the name of a poem I like by Mary Oliver. I'm only up early because I was wide awake and starving in what I thought was the middle of the night. So I got up to eat something and discovered it was 6 o'clock. Good time to get up. No one else is awake, and its kind of nice. I can see why people do this.

Life has been crazy lately. It's so long between each post that I feel like each one needs to be an update on our lives, instead of what I'd like to be posting, which is my thoughts about motherhood and life. Maybe I can combine the two.

I have been sick. Just before Thanksgiving I was extremely ill, and it was discovered I have issues with my gallbladder. I am learning to keep it under control, but it is a process, and last week I had a gallbladder attack that I am still recovering from. It takes me about a week to feel normal again, so I was out of commission for a few days.

We are buying a house. It's the fixer upper next door. We got it for a really good deal on auction. We're supposed to close in about three weeks, and then we'll be fixing it up all Spring and it should be done in the summer. We'll probably move in earlier than that but I'm not sure when yet. I can't wait. I understand why people feel like their house shrunk when their baby learned to walk. That's the way it is here. He isn't walking yet, but he is very mobile, and our apartment is an absolute hazard for him right now. That's because...

I have a new brother. I don't want to share too much about him without permission because he is in foster care, but he is ten. His name starts with a B. And he is a sweetheart. He adores Malachi, and I think Malachi is fixin' to adore him right back. B calls him "my baby", which I think is precious. He always says, "Can I play with my baby?" And how can I say no to that.

We've played fast-paced musical bedrooms in the house in order to make room for B, which feels right somehow: rearranging your life to make space for someone new. We ended up with less space, and while we are figuring out where to put all the stuff that is now crammed into every nook of our apartment, it is just one curious reach away from toppling on, poking, or bruising my dear child. So I've been doing everything one-armed lately, to keep him out of it. I hate that, because I want him to be able to explore his environment and practice his mad crawling, pulling up and cruising (walking along furniture) skillz. So we also go up to grandma's a lot, where there are vast expanses of carpet and tile for a baby explore without mishap.

Malachi has two teeth now. Getting ready for more I think. He is officially on the baby schedule, meaning he has an insanely early bedtime and I no longer go out in the evenings. It was bound to happen sometime. It's what's best for him right now. No more late nights for Mr. Malachi. He is a voracious eater. At 7.5 months old, he is eating chunks of food like potatoes and banana and bread and chewing them up with his gums. He just handles them surprisingly well for a baby his age. He's going to be an eater, this kid. He eats lots of our table food, and just a little bit of baby food. We are still struggling with supply issues, but the medicine I am taking to increase my milk is really working. We were down to 0-2 oz a day until I got sick, and we've been having lots more bottles since then. My supply is coming back up nicely though.

Malachi has been surprising me lately with his developing verbal and cognitive skills. Until now, all of his major milestone have been physical. Working on other (more maternal) sounds. He doesn't know what "dada" means yet, but he's been saying it for two weeks now. We are working on other (more maternal) sounds as well. Last night he was "sharing" his apple slice with grandma. When she asked for a bite, he would feed her. I couldn't believe it! This was the first time we've seen him recognize a verbal cue like that. It's hard to believe how fast they grow.

Furrow, Wrinkle, and Raise

I'm obsessed with Malachi's eyebrows lately. They have grow in thicker in the last couple of weeks, and they add such character to his face! Those eyebrows accentuate the Joshua in him and I love it.

Pics to come when I start taking them again. We lost our computer cable for a while, so I couldn't transfer photos and I stopped taking them. Bad idea. I don't really have much of anything for the last two months.

A Spare Moment

How I want to blog...so much to say, so little time. I only have a couple minutes now, but maybe I can start something.

Malachi is changing so much.

I never fully grasped that being with your child twenty-four hours a day means you notice everything. Their eyebrows growing. A new little mark on their skin. A couple ounces of pudge that weren't there last week. The tiniest development in a fine motor skill. A new sound. They are mundane observations that somehow mean the world to a mommy.

Malachi splashes in the bathtub now. He grunts to get my attention. He army crawls. He sits up by himself. He is quite mobile. Yesterday at church he was scooting all over the parkay floors. He felt unstoppable, I think. He is eating all kinds of things. Fruit, veggies, yogurt. We are starting meat this week.

We are still having supply issues. I had a bit of a meltdown last week realizing that this may just be how things how things are, and resigning myself to formula supplements, because my donor breastmilk sources won't last forever. And that turned out to be just the fuel I needed to find more sources. It looks like now we have enough milk to last at least the next month with more on the way. And several moms have offered to continue pumping just for us, so we should have a regular supply building up. I am so incredibly thankful for that.

I am still drinking water, eating oats, taking herbs, and pumping when I can. Malachi continues to nurse every 1-2 hours, so it's really hard to manage pumping in the midst of that. So today, I took a big step. I ordered a drug called Domperidone to increase my supply. It's perfectly safe, and prescribed for some things in the U.S., but hard to get for increasing breast milk. So I ordered it from New Zealand. I'm such a criminal. I am quite certain it will increase my supply, and may allow us to stop supplementing altogether. I might not even have to take it that long.

So many other things I want to say. But I need to make the most of Malachi's nap time. Off to clean the kitchen!

Silence

I have posts I want to write, but not the opportunity at the moment.

You all know how it is. When Malachi is asleep, I have to do homemaker stuff. If he's asleep in my arms, I can use the computer, but not do much typing. I can use my laptop while he is sleeping next to me before I go to sleep at night, but alas, it is out of commission at the moment. That's why it's been almost three weeks since my last post. That, and health issues. But we are over those, and the computer should be fixed soon.

So, you will hopefully hear from me again before too long. But for now, I've got to mop up some spilled juice while Malachi sleeps.

Catching Up

Joshua is with a friend right now and took Malachi with him. Ahhhh. I love my son. AND it is nice to have a break sometimes.

I can't believe it's been two weeks since I've posted. I'm such a bad blogger lately! We've had so much going on the last month, between my wisdom teeth, supply issues and supplement, and vacation to Arkansas. I used to blog while I was laying with Malachi feeding him before a nap. But he's gotten bigger, and it's harder to juggle the computer and a squirmy baby! I'd like to have content other than updates on Life and Malachi, but it seems that's all I can manage these days.

Malachi is five months plus one week and growing like crazy. We are still supplementing him with donated breast milk. I am still working on my supply, but I am resigned to continue that until he is eating a lot of solids if need be.

Speaking of solids, we started a few days ago! I was all about waiting until AT LEAST six months to start him. But the supply issues we've had and the interest he's showing wore me down. I still feel a little bad about it (silly, I know).

I started a gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free diet for a while. I had been having some intestinal discomfort a lot lately, and I felt like I needed a good cleaning out. The first week I was super-strict with it. This week, I am introducing low-gluten (if its freshly milled whole grain) and raw dairy here and there. I am feeling much better. I was wary about doing a detox while nursing, so this isn't what I would consider a detox. I didn't want Malachi to receive toxins that my body is purging. I've made sure to eat plenty of calories and plenty of good fats. I'm mainly eating a lot of veggies, beans, non-gluten grains, and some meat here and there. There may be some detox that takes place, but a well-balanced healthy diet can only improve my milk, so I don't have much concern. Malachi has responded well so far.

Lucky me, I am going to Bible study by myself this evening. Well, I was planning on it until I wrote that, anyway. Do I really want to leave my baby while I go off to Bible study? Hmmm. Yes. Gotta go so I can catch a shower before I need to leave.