I don't, actually. That's just the name of a poem I like by Mary Oliver. I'm only up early because I was wide awake and starving in what I thought was the middle of the night. So I got up to eat something and discovered it was 6 o'clock. Good time to get up. No one else is awake, and its kind of nice. I can see why people do this.
Life has been crazy lately. It's so long between each post that I feel like each one needs to be an update on our lives, instead of what I'd like to be posting, which is my thoughts about motherhood and life. Maybe I can combine the two.
I have been sick. Just before Thanksgiving I was extremely ill, and it was discovered I have issues with my gallbladder. I am learning to keep it under control, but it is a process, and last week I had a gallbladder attack that I am still recovering from. It takes me about a week to feel normal again, so I was out of commission for a few days.
We are buying a house. It's the fixer upper next door. We got it for a really good deal on auction. We're supposed to close in about three weeks, and then we'll be fixing it up all Spring and it should be done in the summer. We'll probably move in earlier than that but I'm not sure when yet. I can't wait. I understand why people feel like their house shrunk when their baby learned to walk. That's the way it is here. He isn't walking yet, but he is very mobile, and our apartment is an absolute hazard for him right now. That's because...
I have a new brother. I don't want to share too much about him without permission because he is in foster care, but he is ten. His name starts with a B. And he is a sweetheart. He adores Malachi, and I think Malachi is fixin' to adore him right back. B calls him "my baby", which I think is precious. He always says, "Can I play with my baby?" And how can I say no to that.
We've played fast-paced musical bedrooms in the house in order to make room for B, which feels right somehow: rearranging your life to make space for someone new. We ended up with less space, and while we are figuring out where to put all the stuff that is now crammed into every nook of our apartment, it is just one curious reach away from toppling on, poking, or bruising my dear child. So I've been doing everything one-armed lately, to keep him out of it. I hate that, because I want him to be able to explore his environment and practice his mad crawling, pulling up and cruising (walking along furniture) skillz. So we also go up to grandma's a lot, where there are vast expanses of carpet and tile for a baby explore without mishap.
Malachi has two teeth now. Getting ready for more I think. He is officially on the baby schedule, meaning he has an insanely early bedtime and I no longer go out in the evenings. It was bound to happen sometime. It's what's best for him right now. No more late nights for Mr. Malachi. He is a voracious eater. At 7.5 months old, he is eating chunks of food like potatoes and banana and bread and chewing them up with his gums. He just handles them surprisingly well for a baby his age. He's going to be an eater, this kid. He eats lots of our table food, and just a little bit of baby food. We are still struggling with supply issues, but the medicine I am taking to increase my milk is really working. We were down to 0-2 oz a day until I got sick, and we've been having lots more bottles since then. My supply is coming back up nicely though.
Malachi has been surprising me lately with his developing verbal and cognitive skills. Until now, all of his major milestone have been physical. Working on other (more maternal) sounds. He doesn't know what "dada" means yet, but he's been saying it for two weeks now. We are working on other (more maternal) sounds as well. Last night he was "sharing" his apple slice with grandma. When she asked for a bite, he would feed her. I couldn't believe it! This was the first time we've seen him recognize a verbal cue like that. It's hard to believe how fast they grow.
