Pumpkin Spice Latte (without the Pumpkin)

My husband loves Pumpkin Spice Lattes, but have you been to Starbucks lately?! So expensive. And not that good for you! I can make almost anything from scratch as long as I have a recipe to guide me. So I found a recipe, and made it. Sans pumpkin, though, since they don't seem to sell pumpkin in September. So it's really a vanilla latte. I modified it somewhat, and here's what I ended up with:

2 cups milk

1 cup strong coffee

1/4 cup Sucanat (or white sugar)

2 Tbsp vanilla (not a typo)

1/4 tsp cinnamon

1/8 nutmeg

pinch of ginger

It's pretty yummy! It is actually an expensive drink to make at home because Each 10 oz serving has .60 cents worth of real vanilla. But, compared to Starbucks, that's nothing! Some people to to Starbucks for the convenience, but I do it for the taste. It tastes even better if I save money!

Daddy and Malachi

It was awesome to spend three whole days with Joshua over Labor Day. He was able to have some great times with Malachi. I even think that Malachi grew a bit in his attachment to his dad. It seems like he is now more interested in Joshua, and more willing to be soothed by him, and really enjoys his time with Daddy. It's amazing to see their relationship developing.

Joshua already has lots of fun games that he plays with Malachi. Even though Malachi doesn't get them now, he will in the future. He will remember all the silly stuff he did with his dad. I am looking forward to seeing it all unfold.

Cloth Diapering

I read about cloth diapering long before we had kids, and decided that I wanted to do it. It seems intimidating at first, but in retrospect, I'm not sure why. Really, it's easy. And I'm no supermom. I'm lucky if I get the laundry washed most weeks, let alone folded. The biggest thing for me was it seemed like such a learning curve to figure out what kind of diapers to buy. I put it off for months because it seemed so overwhelming with all the options out there these days! I was concerned that I would buy something that didn't work for us, and I didn't have the money to waste. But really, it's not that big of a deal.

We ended up finding an online merchant who lives locally here in Roanoke, and I was able to go and see what all the different diapers are like. I also have a cousin who is loaning me her stash because she is unable to use cloth right now. Both of those things helped me get a feel for what kind of diapers I finally wanted to settle on. I also made the decision to use cloth wipes. I figure if we are going to do it, we might as well really do it.

I had people say to me, "Just be prepared that it might not work for you. It might be too much of a hassle." From the beginning, Joshua and I decided that cloth was our only option. We just don't want to spend the money on disposables. Environmental concerns are important to us as well. So perhaps it was our resolve from the very beginning that makes it work for us. It just isn't an option to quit. We aren't doing it for convenience. But even if we were, its easy. Really. If you are hesitant to try it because it seems a little daunting, let me encourage you. It is so simple. The only challenge is remembering to put a load in the washer. Even prepping the diapers to be worn is no big deal. About half the time I "fold" the diapers and put them in a basket ready to be used. The other half, they stay in the laundry basket and I stuff them one at a time as they are being used. Either way is easy, but if I can manage to get the basket folded, it's preferable.

Someone gave me some great advice when Malachi was just a couple of weeks old and still wearing disposables. She said to ease into it. Transition to cloth at home during the day, then add in nights, and finally, outings. I decided to do that because it sounded like a great way to ease into it. But I found that for me, it was easier to just jump in and do it. I am a creature of habit, so its much easier for me to just get into a routine and do the same thing every time than to constantly be switching between two systems. We started using cloth when Malachi was one month old, and other than the first few days, we've done cloth almost exclusively, even when we go out.

So we decided that for our big Labor Day trip, we were going to do cloth the whole time. And it was easy. (Are you starting to see a theme here?) We had to take all of our diapers, and then cart the dirty ones home, but since we have a truck, we had plenty of room.

Malachi camping in his BumGenius One Size

My favorite part of CD'ing is actually the cloth wipes. They are so thick that I never have to use more than one, even for the worst diapers. And I make a simple wipe solution that smells and feels great on the skin. I also love how cute he looks in them. The diapers are so cute and colorful that its sort of like he's wearing shorts.

Our system is a dry bucket with a liner and a lid that goes in the bathroom. All the diapers go in there when they are soiled. I pull out the inserts at that time, and the wipes go in the bucket too. Once it's full / most of the diapers are used I dump the whole thing in the wash. How easy is that? Most of our diapers are used Bumgenius 3.0. I love them. Love them. I got two brand new as a shower gift, and the remainder were bought on diaperswapper.com. The rest are a random assortment from my cousins stash that include Fuzzibunz, Thirsties, and an assortment of prefolds and covers. In all we have twenty-four diapers, and that has always been enough for 2-3 days, even when Malachi was only a month old. After the wash they are stuffed and put in a basket to be used, or if I am short on time, they just stay in the laundry basket and are stuffed one at a time as they are used.

So if you are on the fence, I recommend that you go ahead and try it! Find a friend who uses cloth and have her give you a little lesson. Or find a local shop where you can see the options firsthand. Also, don't let your baby's age stop you. Whether they are a little baby or a big baby, it's never too late to start using cloth. Let me know how it goes!

A Bend in the Road

Malachi was officially three months old on September 2nd! The time has gone by so quickly, and yet sometimes it felt like it would take forever to get past the newborn stage. And it has happened, just like you all said it would. It was such a noticeable change that I actually counted which day of life it was for him. Eighty-four. That was the first day he let me sit still with him for any amount of time while awake and not nursing. And it has continued every day since. Now he will hang out in the car seat, enjoy a ride in the stroller, and an occasional nap by himself. It has changed my life! It's not that the change is so dramatic, but it is enough to allow me to keep my sanity, helped my attitude, and given me energy and motivation to get a little more done around the house.

He is growing so fast. We've seen some other fun developmental changes the last couple of weeks as well. He loves to look at "the baby" in the mirror! So cute! He gets all smiley like he wants to make friends. Yesterday he rolled from back to tummy for the first time, and since then, he is rolling all over the place! He loves to be naked, and if I lay him on his play mat naked, he will be happy for a lot longer than if he has clothes on. He works and works to grab objects, and he is just starting to get it. He has such a cute look of concentration on his face when he is trying to coordinate himself to reach for something. Most of the time though, he just waves his arms around to hit the toys above his head.

The biggest news though, is that he laughs now! The first time we heard that precious giggle, I thought my heart would burst out of my chest. It is just amazing to see his personality coming alive, day by day. He smiles all the time now, but I still am not used to that. The laughing just put me over the top. I can't take all his cuteness. I'm going to explode. He is such a little person.

Benadryl

In theory I'm not a big fan of medicine for run-of-the-mill aches and pains. But when you watch my every day behavior, you may not notice. Even though I willingly went through an all natural labor, including eight hours in transition dilated to nine, I HATE pain. I talk a big talk about home remedies when I'm feeling good, but once the pain starts, its a different story. Whatever works to get rid of it, I'm all about. I do avoid antibiotics at all costs, but after a couple days of echinacea, garlic, or other herbal remedies, I yield to my discomfort and take whatever over-the-counter drugs necessary to avoid the effects of my cold, flu, or whatever. Actually, that's part of the reason homebirth was so appealing to me. I didn't have the choice of backing out. At the hospital, I probably would have gotten an epidural pretty fast because my values go out the window when I'm in pain.

So it's no surprise that when my baby boy cries like crazy in the car and I can't fix it, I'm not above turning to drugs. I know it's controversial, but I gave Malachi Benadryl this weekend while we traveled. I didn't do it because he was sick. I did it because he was hysterically crying and needed to go to sleep. My research told me this practice is controversial with a baby so young because the dosage is tricky. Also, most people who are critical of it tend to think that you are doing it because your child is annoying you with their crying and you are tired of hearing it.

I'm sure there are parents out there who use that reasoning, but I didn't. I did it because my poor baby got so upset in the car and I just wanted to help him calm down. It's not good for babies to have high stress levels (one of the reasons that I do not believe in crying it out, but that's another post). He cries when he's tired, and if he is unable to go to sleep, he just cries more intensely until he is truly inconsolable.

We tried everything. The best solution is usually loud parental advisory hip hop that I feel dirty listening to, but even that only works for so long. So after giving him constant attention until he reached his limit of being able to be pacified, we pulled over for a comfort nursing session and gave him the Benadryl. Just a tiny bit, small enough that I even doubted whether it would work for his weight. The result: it didn't work. In fact, if anything, he got more upset. In retrospect, it makes sense that would happen, since he's crying because he's tired. And if he's getting more tired, but still doesn't have what he needs to go to sleep, more crying would be the result.

But its hard to draw a cause and effect between behaviors like that. All I know is that he didn't sleep. He kept crying. The thing that finally calmed him down was when Joshua put his large comforting hand on Malachi's face. Somehow his daddy's touch soothed him and put him to sleep. It was an incredibly sweet image that made my heart swell with love for both of them. It was also an exciting moment, because it was one of the first times that Joshua has been able to soothe him out of such agitation, and I sense that Malachi may be ready for us to try some father comforts instead of always needing mama. Obviously, he is not out of the woods yet as far as newborn behaviors, this scenario being a perfect example.

So, say what you will about it, I gave it to him, and it didn't work. But we have another trip coming up, and I hate to think of him crying through it, off and on. Fortunately, he can be entertained by some things now, like singing and talking, and toys. Without those, we would have really been up a creek. My hope is that even in the next few weeks, his ability to self-soothe will improve and it won't be as much of an issue.

My question is what do you do? How do/did you keep your tiny baby from crying on long trips?

Flashback: 35 Weeks Gestation

Occasionally, I have what I call a waking nightmare. When I have them, I am fully awake, sometimes in my car or daydreaming in bed. It's a very vivid daydream that something bad happens such as I get in a car wreck and Malachi survives, but I don't. It's quite horrific. Often these waking visions bring me tears to my eyes.

On Wednesday morning, I had one of these imaginings. And you know how sometimes the contents of a nightmare isn't that bad, but the emotions you feel at the time that make it bad? That's what this one was like. I imagined that I woke up in the middle of the night and was in labor. And since its too early to have a homebirth we headed to the hospital. I was afraid, both of giving birth in the hospital, and because its still a little early. I was also really stressed because our house wasn't ready for Malachi yet. Let me give you a vision of how physically unprepared we are for this baby. His room is full of bags and boxes of baby stuff we have accumulated. It was our room until about 3 weeks ago, so our clothes are still in the drawers and our trash is still on the floor where we found when we took the bed down last weekend. I guess it fell out of the trash can.

My room? Well, for one, it had about a month's worth of clean laundry unfolded in baskets. Books stacked 18 inches high on every available surface. The bookshelves half-painted in the middle of the floor in the way of everything. Joshua can't get to his side of the bed by walking to it. He has to climb in from my side. It's just that bad.

I have been working hard. Really, I have. But last weekend, my hard work consisted of making about 8 meals in single servings to pull out of the freezer for lunch and dinner each day. Without these, we had been eating out way too much, which is neither affordable nor good for our health. My hard work during weeknights consists of going to childbirth classes and midwife appointments. Between these, I am getting things done here and there, but a gestating woman a few weeks from her due date can only work so fast.

Needless to say, when I had this waking dream of going into labor with my house in such a state, I freaked out, both in the dream, and in real life. In the dream, Joshua called our friends Phil and Rebecca and told them what was going on, and would they be able to gather some people to get things organized while we were away. I dreamed that the hospital made Joshua go get a car seat because we didn't have one yet, and that he also picked up diapers while he was out.

When I snapped out of my dream-like state, I was a changed woman. I realized that this baby, though not due for 5 weeks, could come anytime now, and we. are. not. ready.

So I went to the midwife yesterday and discovered...I'm between 3 and 4 centimeters dilated and somewhat effaced. That basically means that I'm further along in the birth process than a lot of women are when they go into labor. I'm only at 35 weeks, so its a bit early for this. That means I'm off work for a few days, resting and trying to some natural remedies to delay labor. The goal is to get to 36 weeks. Then he will be full term, and I can have him at home whenever he's ready to be born.

So today, I sorted through baby clothes. My cousin brought a big stash of cloth diapers that I'll be borrowing. So now we have stuff to cover his butt and body. That's a big step!

Flashback: Eight Weeks

Sometimes I find posts that were in progress that never got published. When I come across them again, I will title them as a flashback so the dear readers will know its not current.

**********************************

Malachi has been changing so much the last few days. He went through a growth spurt last week, and I've really noticed that he's changing. The biggest physical change I've noticed is that he's growing out of some of his newborn onesies. So sad. He would probably have more time if he weren't in the bulky cloth diapers, but either way they are getting snug. Developmentally, Malachi can now see me in a room from a few feet away, and WANTS me there. He's following me around the room with his eyes! Yesterday, I put him in his swing for a few quick minutes while I made some food for myself. He was "done" with the swing and started crying right as I finished cooking, so I headed in there to get him. As soon as I came in the room, he stopped crying, so instead of taking him out of the swing, I sat next to him and ate while he swung. He was happy to sit in the swing for another 5 minutes, just because I was with him! This is a big change. I used to be able to put him, almost asleep, in his swing or bassinet to go to sleep. I could go in and out of the room cleaning, or checking on him, and he wouldn't know the difference. All that is about to change I guess!