tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8174914216675615420.post1928666464767195078..comments2023-10-20T05:14:04.781-04:00Comments on How to Grow a Grasty: Why I Have No Friends*Sandrahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00549225749777249825noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8174914216675615420.post-23185408252390286652012-08-17T15:36:00.406-04:002012-08-17T15:36:00.406-04:00Sandy,
(Or Sandra, but I know you as Sandy!), I th...Sandy,<br />(Or Sandra, but I know you as Sandy!), I think I have been my loneliest in life, as a parent. The needs of my child(ren) have trumped my needs way too many times to count and definitely more than they should.<br />When I look back, it seems that in my adult life, the times that major moves or changes are the times that have been the loneliest. When I moved to Seattle, it took a good 3 years to develop deep, meaningful and trustworthy relationships. When I stayed home after Amos was born, that shift and loneliness happened again, mostly because I had to figure out how to be a stay-at-home extrovert. Our move to Indy five years ago was again very lonely, as I sought to make friends, not be on the outside and care for my child. At church these days, I rarely, if ever, go deep because someone is wailing, or lost or needs to eat or sleep, and usually, I am worn out too. <br />I think the thing that has really helped me has been regular community in the form of a small group on Wednesday nights and neighborhood dinner group on Sunday nights. It's given me the opportunity to get to know people (AND to remember that it does take time to get there with folks), so that when something hits the fan, we have a foundation. Also, we've supported each other as we've had babies together, kids have started school together, deaths in the family, postpartum depression and gone through other major life changes together. The thing I've found is that it takes time, over a period of time, to establish these, but it does happen, and it's another place to see God caring and loving on us, and working.<br />Too, I am extroverted and a verbal processor, so it always helps for me to talk it out. But I know lots of introverts that are great writers, and, that still need to talk things out, so you are not alone! There is something about speaking a thought or even a confession, that lessens the power of that thought or sin over us.<br />God made us to need each other, I believe, so I would just encourage you to try to find a small group to meet with regularly, be it at church, a moms group, whatever, and give it time for those relationships to blossom. And thanks again for sharing. It takes real guts to be vulnerable. Sarah Partainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07224335619676131774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8174914216675615420.post-76830155346943984952012-08-17T12:16:43.789-04:002012-08-17T12:16:43.789-04:00This is really true, Sandra. I like what you said ...This is really true, Sandra. I like what you said about a new story...i have been thinking about that a lot too, with some stuff from my past that I want to become a springboard rather than a wallowing place. Shaana's testimony was so challenging for me. Not trying to give one of those easy "i've been there's," but i went through a serious time of questioning my faith and God when we lost our first two babies.<br /><br />Hey...we should get together sometime! :)<br /><br /><br />FaithAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com